DAY 15 - FANNING THE FLAME

Every human is born with innate curiosity. Imagine that curiosity as a flame inside us all that is lit by our Maker at our time of conception. As a mother and as their teacher, I want to give my childrens' inner flames as much oxygen to grow, to spread, and to run wild, as I possibly can. Only oxygen, only open spaces, only freedom can allow a flame to survive. I mustn't extinguish the flame by boxing it into a classroom, burying it under the sands of worksheets and rigid schedules, and most importantly, I must not try to tame it or standardize it -- for no two flames were ever meant to burn the same. We are all born with this fire of wonder, creativity, and curiosity; it's lit right into our DNA. The challenge is not how to get the flame, but rather, it's how to keep the world from burning it out. 

Day 9 - Dropping an Anchor and Naked Eggs

 When it comes to learning, I prefer not to cast a wide net, but rather to drop an anchor and stay somewhere for awhile. I allow my children to choose which topic we drop the anchor in and how deep it goes. Right now, they have chosen "snipers." Everything from documentaries, to YouTube videos, to making rifles and scopes and silencers, to making the perfect camo, to learning how to gauge a target's distance, to watching every single Hollywood movie made about snipers from the past 30 years, we have done it this week!



Oh, and we made a naked egg today! So cool. You let the acid in vinegar dissolve the calcium carbonate, which gets rid of the shell but leaves the middle. It is like a bouncy ball now. And if you shine a light through it you can see the yolk and everything.

Day 8 - How They Look on Paper

Posted this pic for no other reason than it makes me smile! 

I've noticed that when people talk about their children they always describe them in terms of how they look on paper, (i.e., "I have 2 kids in college, 1 working on his masters, and the other is an engineer.")

I'm not sure why this is our default way of describing our children. Do we think that their success or our success is measured by these things? And if so, why? 

Next time someone tells me about their children I want to hear, "I have the four happiest children ever! Oh, and they all love the Lord!" 

Now, *that* would be a success story! You can look fantastic on paper and still be miserable - trust me, I know. I want to hear about WHO your kids are, not WHAT they do.

Day 7 - Control

Being a controlling parent is usually a self-fulfilling prophecy. You think that your kids are sneaky, manipulative, and disobedient, and maybe they are -- but that's probably the effect of your control rather than the cause. 

Day 6 - Learning vs. Teaching

Today, my pastor gave a perfect analogy for my education philosophy. He described how when you get a new tool or your child gets a new present, you don’t get out the instruction manual first, read it and then just leave the tool or toy in the box. No, you rip open the box, get out the toy or tool and you start trying to use it. Then, a few minutes into it you realize, “Oh, I may need to read some instructions on how to use this thing.” So, then you start reading the instructions; but now, unlike before, the instructions have meaning and real life application. 

He was using this analogy in the context of faith. He was trying to say that faith and courage can’t be taught or grow stronger in a bible study or by listening to a sermon on Sunday morning, but rather only when you get out into the real world and you’re faced with moments that stretch you, do you start realizing your need for Biblical teaching and knowledge. No matter how true Biblical knowledge may be, it is worthless unless it is also interesting and applicable.

I view education this same way. Unless a child finds a particular set of information interesting and applicable, they will not listen, not care, and probably forget whatever you try to teach them – regardless of how factual or necessary you think it is. On the other hand, if you allow a child to become their own teacher, they will follow their own passions, and as they encounter experiences in life that they are unequipped for, they will then seek out the knowledge necessary to accomplish whatever goal they have set for themselves. Instead of simply being TAUGHT the information, they will truly LEARN it. There is a difference between being taught and learning. Even Albert Einstein said, “I never teach my pupils, I only provide the conditions in which they can learn.”

Just as becoming a courageous and faithful servant of the Lord can’t occur by means of merely acquiring more theological knowledge, becoming a truly intelligent, creative, and educated person can’t occur by merely filling the mind with more facts. When a skill is mastered in the context of interest and need in the real world, only then is it truly learned. 

Day 5 - Children are Not Art Projects

I heard a quote the other day that said, “Children are not our own art products to be turned out well, but their own life work in continual process.” ~ Jan Fortune Wood

It really got me thinking...Sometimes I do feel like we talk about our children like art projects. Either our own little projects "turn out well" or not -- and we take it so personally, as a reflection of ourselves. But the truth is, we can only do so much as parents because in reality, children are not our own little art projects that we can mold into exactly what we want, but rather they are free individuals who are their own, continual "work in progress."

I have been an "art project" parent for the past nine years and I'm so glad God is opening my eyes to that lie! 

                                                                Speaking of art projects...

Day 4 - Preschool Unschool

Today I learned that a little boy can be entertained for hours with nothing more than two paper clips, a couple wires, a magnet, and a 9-volt battery. :-)

“In the end, the secret to learning is so simple: forget about it. Think only about whatever you love. Follow it, do it, dream about it. One day, you will glance up at your collection of Japanese literature, or trip over the solar oven you built, and it will hit you: learning was there all the time, happening by itself.” ~ Grace Llewellyn

Day Three - Cooking to Minecraft

Today, Sharpshooter played Mincraft, cooked  his own lunch (grilled cheese), we played Stratego together, he made a generator from an “Inventors” science kit he got for Christmas, read a chapter of Ranger’s Apprentice, and he helped me cook dinner. I have to admit, he didn’t think to do any of that stuff on his own other than play Minecraft! I didn’t necessarily make him do other things but I did suggest them to him. Also, I made him take at least two hours off from Minecraft and told him he had to read a chapter from his book. I’ve read all the arguments for allowing your child to play video games as long as he/she wants but at this point in my life, I couldn’t bring myself to it! Maybe someday.

Day Two - The Panic

“School presents daily exercises in dis-association. It forces unwelcome associations on most of its prisoners. It sets petty, meaningless competitions in motion on a daily basis, pitting potential associates against one another in contests for praise and other worthless prizes.” ~ John Taylor Gatto

Sharpshooter, my nine-year-old son, was at his papaw’s most of the day today so all we had time for was his gymnastics class and about thirty minutes of family time before bed. After I sent the kids to bed I went through my step-children’s backpacks to check and see if they needed lunch money. As I was going through their backpacks the panic hit. There were at least fifty worksheets in Katniss’ folder! There were math work sheets with times at the top showing how fast they had been completed, there were grammar worksheets, and reading comprehension worksheets and on and on. Am I depriving my child by not giving him such a “rigorous” education? I know my son couldn’t complete twenty multiplication problems in 1.56 minutes and I know he doesn’t know what a preposition is. Feeling a little sick to my stomach I put their folders back in their back packs, pray, and read a few of my favorite unschooling blogs for encouragement. I’m quickly reminded of my priorities and of the times I tried these same types of worksheets with my son and how little he enjoyed them, how frustrated they made him, and the tears he cried over them. Learning should be fun, I remind myself, and worksheets are NOT fun!  

Day One - Trailblazing

After laying out the facts, data, and presenting my case, I break it to my husband that I plan to try unschooling for one whole year. He simply said, “Makes sense to me!” Ha. One of the most unique and attractive qualities about my husband is that he is always supportive of whatever new venture I set out on – I guess you could say he is a great unschooling husband! He was, as I hinted to above, supportive, but towards the end of our discussion he said, “Another good thing about unschooling is that it will make life a lot easier on you. You won’t really have to do anything.” I was shocked that he understood the concept so little, but I took this was a good opportunity to explain how misguided his statement is.

Unschooling is the opposite of “doing nothing.” Far from neglect, it is being more involved, more attune, and more responsive to your child’s passion, needs, and desires than ever before. I’m not sure exactly how this will play out in reality but I am excited and hopeful about the journey!