(Disclaimer: I respect all parents’ educational choices.
There are many alternatives to education. This article is not meant to be critical
or even persuasive, it is simply our personal journey. Enjoy.)
“Unschooling?! Isn’t that just for the liberal, atheist,
hippy type of homeschoolers?”
Or, at least, that’s what I asked myself the first time I
heard about a conservative, Christian family choosing to unschool their children.
But, I listened to their case, kept an open mind, and fell
in love.
Unschooling, in short, is allowing your child as much
freedom to learn as you can possibly bear. For us, it means no set curriculum,
no assignments, no lesson plans, no tests– in essence, no school! My children
learn what they want, when they want, and how they want, in the belief that
education should be fun, passion-driven, and voluntary.
(Stop right there. I know what you are thinking: “But what
about math? How will they ever learn math?!” I will get to the “math issue” later,
in another article, but for now it will suffice to say that math can be found
in the most surprisingly fun places, such as board games, cooking, music,
building things – oh, and my favorite, buying things! In addition, I find it
ironic that I usually get the “math question” from people who never use
anything beyond basic, practical mathematics in their career or daily life.
Strange. Oh well, moving on...)
When I first pulled my son out of public school we took the
traditional approach to homeschooling, i.e. we did school-at-home. We bought
packaged curriculum, had set school hours, a classroom, and all the works.
Although I wouldn’t describe our initial homeschooling days as bad, we weren’t
having the joyful, rich, and exciting learning experience I had romanticized
about when first deciding to homeschool.
My older son certainly loved being home with me and little his
brother, but he would sigh in dread as he sat down to do certain subjects and he
would count down the hours until school was over. I didn’t pay this too much
mind, as I assumed this was how homeschooling was supposed to be! I figured lesson plans, worksheets, buying curriculum,
and long days battling over fractions or forcing my wild-at-heart, outdoorsman
of a boy to read books like “Little House on the Prairie,” was the price a
parent had to pay to be a good home educator – and I was willing to do it
forever.
Until, that is, I realized there is another way!
I became enthralled with the unschooling philosophy and read
every book, article, or blog post written on the subject. It was like a veil
had been lifted – one of those major “aha” moments.
It’s funny because we have all said at some point that “learning
should be fun,” but in reality that usually just meant we would find a way to
teach something with a slightly more hands-on approach or try incorporating a
game into our lesson, but it was never really
much more fun and the children still viewed it as school work.
But with unschooling, school really is fun. Better put, life
is really fun. Now that we have started unschooling, learning is not a chore
that I have to force my kids to finish before they can go do whatever it is
they want to do. Instead, learning no
longer has a beginning or end because, for us, living is learning. We don’t disassociate learning from living by putting
it in a set building, for a set time, with set subjects.
And again, I know what you are thinking, “But, as a parent,
and especially as a Christian parent, isn’t it our duty to ‘train our children
in the way they should go...,’?”
My answer is: definitely! As parents, we should certainly give
our children covering, training, and guidance -- and unschooling allows us to
do that in a less directive, prescriptive, or forced way. Instead, we
guide our children with an approach that is more respectful, thoughtful, and
relationship building.
Don’t confuse this approach with me “being a friend and not
a parent,” because that is certainly not the dynamic in our house. We still
have chores, we still require good manners, respect and obedience -- but under that umbrella -- we allow A LOT of freedom.
I have read articles and books that attempt to lay out
scriptural arguments for homeschooling, but I will not do that here. Why?
Because, frankly, I don’t think God cares if you homeschool your children or
not. (cue gasp from the legalists!) That’s
right, I don’t think He cares whether your children go to public school,
private school, homeschool or are unschooled. God only cares that you walk with
Him in whatever path you choose.
That being said, even though I don’t think God prefers one
method of education over another, I do know that he prefers joy and freedom
over misery and slavery. I think it is a shame that so many people carry life
around like a heavy burden. It doesn’t have to be that way – and choosing to
unschool, for us, has been a burden lifter.
I choose to unschool my kids for five main reasons:
1.)Our earthly life is short – and no one will say
on their death bed that they wish they had done more calculus worksheets.
2.) Because God created each one of us unique from
the next and I believe that unique individuals learn best when they are not
forced, but rather when they learn something out of personal interest or need.
3.)Because people (and yes, children are people too) appreciate and long for freedom.
4.)Because living out a principle is always a more
effective way to lead than enforcing a rule. (Be the change you want to see in
your children!)
5.)Because I would rather spend time getting to
know who my children are, than
telling them who they need to be.
After all, my children are not really my own, they belong to
God and He has entrusted me with them. This season of my life, this season of
having children home with me, will only last but a moment. I want that moment to be rich with joy, communion,
adventure, love, trust, memories, freedom and most of all, grace. I don’t worry
that allowing my children the freedom to choose what they learn or don’t learn
will hurt their chances of “succeeding in the real world,” whatever that even means.
In the end, the most important human skills, i.e., humility, courage, compassion,
sense of wonder, ability to forgive, resourcefulness, or faithfulness, can’t be
measured on a test but can only be lived out.
Some may call us radical, and I’d have to agree. We are radically
joyful, radically passionate, radically adventurous, radically in love, and
radically free.
We are unschoolers.
